Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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