Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize