Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
3pm strippers are depressing
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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