I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
