forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
