I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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