Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
