He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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