Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I stole a fireplace last night.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
