apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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