I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
