I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
