i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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