it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
