$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
