you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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