There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
