I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
