Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
