I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
and she was petting her beer can
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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