Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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