I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
