Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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