May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
