i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
