I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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