Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
