He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
