and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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