Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
