It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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