A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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