sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize