Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
