My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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