Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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