i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
