I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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