We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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