I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize