My Higher Power is John Stamos
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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