I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
