Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
