need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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