why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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