last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
