Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
