I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
