Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I need a beard to bite.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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