I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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