Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
