she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
