You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
