he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i need some magic done to my vagina
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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