Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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