If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
