I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
