Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
